


The Ballad of a Dove

by Anonymous



Series: To Complete [20]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Flashbacks, Folk Singer Akaashi Keiji, Goodbyes, Heavy Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Musician Akaashi Keiji, Polyamory, Setting: California, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-02 17:28:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8676313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Akaashi Keiji is in the limelight. His debut album was received amazingly by Japan, and he and his boyfriends decided to move to America, where Akaashi had made a name for himself. He thought he would get to grow old with his three boyfriends, maybe adopt some children with them, settle down somewhere nice in America, or return home to Japan when his folk singing career came to a close. However, the watch burned into his wrist has begun counting down, and it's gotten quicker and quicker. Akaashi finds that he only has five months left to live, before his life is snatched cruelly away so young.Writing the perfect song to leave behind for them, Akaashi makes sure he spends his remaining time with those who mean the world to him.---------------The one where a wrist watch counts down to your death, and Akaashi has a short life. The one where he has to say goodbye to those he loves, and the one where his lovers have to deal with the empty side of the bed.Also the one where this author hates himself for writing this.





	1. Crippling Realisations

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Pings](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3268115) by [barfs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/barfs/pseuds/barfs). 



> Inspired by [If I Die Young](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJqUN9TClM) by The Band Perry.
> 
> \--
> 
> This has been haunting me since I first found this song and I am so, so sorry for the heavy angst; but it's okay! Crying is good for the soul! When it gets to the point in the fiction, I'll share a link of the version of the song I hear Akaashi producing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know I need to stop starting new fics but this one is short I promise - well, not short in length but it's only 11 chapters and my plot is solid for each one. ~~I need to stop staying up literally all night and getting no sleep because fictions like this get written and my usual updates get ignored, I'm sorry~~

Akaashi had known that it was coming, and it was coming soon. The clock on his wrist had been counting down, as it usual did; it didn’t bother him – the last time he checked it, there were at least sixty years left for him. He’d been strumming at his guitar, staring out the window of the penthouse apartment he and his boyfriends had bought, looking at the view. He hadn’t been trying to play anything, not really. Akaashi was just strumming, something to keep him busy and distracted. The lyrics for his next album weren’t coming as easily as he wanted them to. The gentle strumming was helping him focus his thoughts out, think of little prompts that he’d jot down in the notebook next to him. Maybe he could get a bridge going that he could use to inspire something – and then he had dropped his guitar. Akaashi barely heard it clatter to the ground as his wrist burned red hot. Akaashi had grabbed it, trying to apply pressure to it whilst he hissed in pain. When the pain relented, Akaashi found he was to scared to look.  
  
Akaashi had continued staring out the window, tears welling up in his eyes. He knew what that burn meant – it meant the timer had gone down. By how much, Akaashi was too scared to know.  
  
Eventually, after about ten minutes had ticked past him, Akaashi finally uncurled his fingers from around his wrist.  
  
The numbers continued to plummet second by second. _Five months_. Akaashi felt like his entire life had just collapsed around him. Everything around him sounded like white noise, and he couldn’t breathe properly. He thought about his lovers, going about their daily lives. He thought of his family, settling into the new home he’d just bought them. He thought about his fan base, those who looked up to him. Tears welled in his eyes – but he wasn’t crying for himself. He was crying for those who looked to him, those who loved him – those who needed him.  
  
Akaashi had readied himself for death years ago, when he was fourteen and his clock had started ticking down. He came to terms with everything and had told himself he’d live the best life he ever could. He had done that, but now… now he had so much unfinished. He had so much to do and only five months to do it in.  
  
Akaashi felt like he was going to be sick when he looked up to see a photo of him, Tsukishima, Kuroo and Bokuto out on a date. There had been a festival in Tokyo, and Tsukishima had wanted to go. He’d only just moved in with them all, and had never really been to Tokyo before. They were all eating ice cream and were making peace signs at the camera, whilst Tsukishima’s brother had snapped the picture. It was the first thing they had put up on the walls since the moved to America.  
  
Akaashi’s phone went off, a notification that he had to get ready to go down to the recording studio and have a meeting about his second album. He thought it over for a minute before deciding he really needed to go and inform his manager that the second album wouldn’t happen. He picked his guitar up and moved to put it in the case that was open on the couch and then headed to the bedroom. Akaashi slipped on a plain black v-necked shirt, some ripped jeans and stuck his feet into a plain black pair of flip flops. A beige cowboy hat was placed on top of his hair and his usual pair of black sunglasses. He hesitated, and then but a cuff bracelet on, covering the countdown on his wrist. He knew there was the fans online that would analyse every photo of their favourite and there were countless sites on Twitter, tumblr and Facebook where they would find recent pictures of celebrities and reveal how long they had left to live. Akaashi had been featured a few times, and Tsukishima had ranted on his own Twitter about privacy, but the information was already out there.  
  
Not that Akaashi minded, but he was to be the one to tell his fan base. Not the internet.  
  
Taking a breath, Akaashi pulled his guitar onto his back, grabbed his keys and then headed out the apartment, into the elevator, and then out onto the streets of California.  
  
He walked to the recording studio, preferring it to the busy traffic that constantly plagued California’s roads. A few fans recognised him and he stood for photos and signed albums and posters. Akaashi was grateful for the sunglasses that hid his red rimmed eyes.  
  
Stopping for photos had Akaashi running twenty minutes late and his manager started to scold him before Akaashi took his sunglasses off.  
  
“Keiji...” Akaashi flinched as the man’s American accent butchered his name. No matter how many times Akaashi told his manager that he was to be referred to as Akaashi, he just never listened. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“We need to talk.” Akaashi had glanced around at the other singers, managers, and the whole crew that helped make a song what it was. “In private.”   
  


* * *

 

  
When Akaashi left the meeting room, everything had been set up to be put into motion. Over the next five months, Akaashi would re-record demos and unreleased songs to be released as a new album upon his death. It seemed trashy, but Akaashi recognised it as his manager wanting to help the fan base, rather than just trying to leech money out of his name.  
  
Akaashi had made his wishes known – he wanted to record one new song, a single, and release it. The money made off it would go to charities to help those who had lost their children young, their loved ones who had supported the family, anything that fit into the generic charity would get money from the single release. His manager had said that was fair, and Akaashi had nodded. Now, he just needed to write the song.  
  
He had an idea for it, he had a guitar demo that would work somewhat along it. Instead of going to record like he usually would when he got there, he settled down with his manager’s laptop, going through all the guitar demos he had asked his manager to save. Finally finding Akaashi – Guitar Demo – 27, Akaashi slipped his headphones into the port and put his hat on the table next to him to put his headphones on his head.  
  
Akaashi listened to it intently, listened to the chords slide into one another, the beautiful song that had an air of sadness to the notes. It struck a chord in his head. Words began flowing. Akaashi didn’t pick his pen up, not yet. When the demo finished, he replayed it. The words kept flowing. This time, when the song stopped, Akaashi drug it into his manager’s iTunes and put it on single replay.  
  
On the fourth listening, he finally got it, and grabbed his notebook, pen working furiously.  
  


* * *

  
When Akaashi got home, he was late by two hours, caught up in re-recording the guitar to ensure it was _perfect_. If he screwed up a note, he had stopped and told the technician behind the glass to restart the recording. This was his final chapter, it had to be perfect. He’d recorded it six times, before finally being happy with the seventh recording, nodding and telling his manager to email it to him. His manager had nodded and watched Akaashi with heavy eyes as he slipped his hat and sunglasses back on.  
  
When he walked into the apartment, Tsukishima and Kuroo were cooking in the kitchen, laughing at a joke one of them had told. Akaashi watched them closely and took in the things he had never noticed before. Things like the way Tsukishima’s eyes would light up when Kuroo called him Princess. The way Kuroo’s eyes would shine when Tsukishima was focusing intently on something, pulling that little concentrating face that they all loved so much. Tsukishima’s hips wriggling the tiniest bit when Kuroo put his hands on them. Kuroo’s soft laugh when Tsukishima said something soppy.  
  
Akaashi smiled a small, sad smile, and then cleared his throat. “Hey, you two.” Tsukishima waved a hand but didn’t look over, watching the food with a close eye to make sure the vegetables in the stir fry didn’t burn. Kuroo jumped a foot in the air and his hair bobbed as his head turned to look at him, smiling softly.  
  
“Hey there, Cowboy.”  
  
Akaashi snorted and walked over to fall into Kuroo’s arms, leaning up for a soft, gentle kiss. Tsukishima clicked his tongue. “Don’t keep him all to yourself.”  
  
“Shut up and watch the vegetables.”  
  
Akaashi laughed and pushed Kuroo softly in the chest to turn to Tsukishima. He was stood up straight now, a smile on his face as he leaned down for a quick lip peck before he turned back to the vegetables on the hob. Akaashi turned to stare at the doorway to the living room, looking for the black and silver hair leaning over the top of it. “Hey, where’s Kou?”  
  
Tsukishima grinned his tiny little _I have information you don’t_ grin and Akaashi raised an eyebrow. “Kei? You know where Bokuto is?”  
  
“Only because I called him up to yell at him. It’s his information to share and not mine.” Tsukishima took a sip of wine from the glass that sat next to the cooker and Kuroo rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you like that shit.”  
  
“I can’t believe you like smoking tobacco but here we are.”  
  
Akaashi chuckled and moved to sit on the kitchen counter. “Boys, boys, calm down. Play nice now.”  
  
The weight of what Akaashi was holding sat in his stomach and he could have sworn he could hear his watch ticking down and ticking down and ticking down. He stared at the cuff bracelet on his wrist, the gems in it glinting in the beginning to set sun in the window.  
  
“Keiji...” Akaashi looked up quickly at Tsukishima’s voice, full of concern. The blond was standing at the over alone, and it took Akaashi a moment to realise that Kuroo had left. “Is everything alright, Kej.”  
  
_Kej_. There it was. The nickname that Tsukishima had given him one night, when they were cuddled up on the couch in their shitty Tokyo apartment. The grey fabric was already frayed when they had bought it second hand, but now, Tsukishima’s fingers wiggled in and out of starting to form holes. The television lit the dark room up, reflecting in Tsukishima’s eyes and glasses. His lips were parted ever so slightly as he stared at the documentary, listening intently on every word the documentary had to offer. Akaashi hadn’t thought he had ever been in love more with Tsukishima than he was in that very moment. He had leant down to press his lips to Tsukishima’s, startling the blond out of his intense concentration. Akaashi had finally pulled back after a moment to see Tsukishima looking surprised. His glasses were askew, and his lips parted. He blushed a little and straightened his glasses. “Kej...”  
  
For a moment, Akaashi had thought that Tsukishima was slurring his name after three glasses of wine, but he seemed sober enough. “Kej… I love you.” _Kejjj_. One syllable that could make Akaashi’s heart beat out of time and make him feel warm and gooey and all the rest of the soppy stuff he sang about.  
  
Akaashi was dragged out of his thoughts by Tsukishima clearing his throat softly, and he offered a bright smile. “I’m fine, Kei.” He leaned in to press a kiss to the blond’s lips. Tonight wasn’t the night to tell him, not when he was trying to figure everything out in his head.  
  
“How was recording today?”  
  
“It was good. I’ve been working fully on a single all day and it’s really starting to piece together.”  
  
“I’m always amazed by how quickly you piece together songs. I wish I had the talent to do that myself.”  
  
Akaashi smiled sadly and reached out to pull Tsukishima into a hug. “Your mind just thinks more logically. With practice, you could write songs way more amazing than what I can. I know you have it in you, Kei.”  
  
Tsukishima smiled and leant in for another kiss before he pulled away to start plating food up. Akaashi watched him a moment before he got up and headed to the dining table to start setting it. Before he even laid the first set of cutlery down, the door opened and Bokuto came rushing in with a yell.  
  
Kuroo and Akaashi both jumped, and there was the faint sound of cursing from the kitchen.  
  
“Tsukki already knows this.” Bokuto pointed at Kuroo and Akaashi. “YOU are dating the newest member, and a starting member, of CalTech University’s Volleyball Team.”  
  
Kuroo immediately jumped up with a laugh, running over to hug and kiss Bokuto, congratulations slipping through his lips whenever they weren’t latched to Bokuto’s. Akaashi watched with muted interest.  
  
This was going to affect Bokuto badly, especially now he was on such a high with placing on the CalTech team. Akaashi swallowed hard. When Bokuto looked to him, his mouth automatically went into a smile, and he offered his arms up for a hug. Bokuto pressed a kiss to Akaashi’s lips and Akaashi kissed back, holding him as close as he could with handfuls of cutlery.  
  
Tsukishima swept into the room with a smile on his face and the four plates balancing on his arms.  
  
“Looks like you being a waiter has really worked out, Tsuks.” Tsukishima clucked his tongue at Kuroo and set the plates down on the table with a flourish. Akaashi sat down quietly, immediately tucking into the stir fry that Tsukishima had made. As usual, it was perfect.  
  
Bokuto and Tsukishima immediately started bickering in their soppy way and Akaashi pushed his food around his plate. After a few more bites, it started tasting stale. He wondered if this was how it would taste for his lovers in five months time. He needed to make sure Kuroo and Bokuto would get Tsukishima to eat. He lost weight by _breathing_ and he wouldn’t eat when he got upset.  
  
Dinner passed in a haze; Kuroo, Tsukishima and Bokuto were trying to outdo each other with their grades. Unsurprisingly, Tsukishima topped them both with two 98% essays. Kuroo had gotten an 89% where as Bokuto had got a 76% - _hey! Don’t judge me I’ve been applying myself to volleyball!_ \- and Akaashi wanted to cry.  
  
He wondered how much he was going to miss this, if there was some form of life after death. How he’d watch his lovers and yearn to be with them, just to let them know, just once, that he was okay wherever he would end up.  
  
“Kej… you coming?”  
  
Akaashi looked up to find everyone had filed through to the bedroom and he smiled. Nodding, he got up and walked across the room, turning the lights off as he went. They all changed into pyjamas – well, Bokuto and Kuroo stripped down to boxers. Akaashi stripped down to boxers and a sleeping shirt. Tsukishima was the only one to actively change into pyjama bottoms and a sleeping shirt – and they all slipped into bed.  
  
Akaashi stared at the wall, making sure there was space between him and Bokuto. He watched the clock in silence, not joining in on the conversation his lovers were having and he waited. He waited until Bokuto fell asleep. He waited for Kuroo to fall asleep. He waited for Tsukishima to fall asleep.  
  
And then, when the clock glowed a faint _02:17 AM_ across the room, Akaashi finally let the tears fall down his face, soaking his pillow and sending him into a nightmare filled sleep.


	2. Farewell, Kei

Akaashi watched Tsukishima as he finished off a paper, peering at his textbook. His eyes scanned the words on the page behind his glasses and he huffed a little. Turning back to his work, Akaashi watched his fingers fly across the keyboard. He started tapping, typed, tapped, typed and then tapped the mouse again before he stood up from the dining room table. Akaashi smiled as he stretched out before he winced at the sound of Tsukishima’s back clicking.  
  
“All done?”  
  
“Mhm.” Tsukishima pushed his glasses up his nose, stifled a yawn and then disappeared through their penthouse. Akaashi heard the kettle boiling.  
  
It had been a month since his watch had changed; the delicate five had now changed to a four, and it was still ticking down, second by second. He hadn’t told anyone other than his manager. His song was almost completed; it just needed finalising by the tech guys, and he was no longer needed at the recording studio until next month. Now, Akaashi was faced with the herculean task of telling his boyfriends that he was going to die soon.  
  
Akaashi ran a hand through his hair and let out a heavy breath. He and Tsukishima were alone all weekend, so this would be the perfect time to tell him… if he could find the words.  
  
“Kej?” Akaashi looked up to see Tsukishima frowning at him, leaning in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen. “Kej, are you alright? You’ve been off form for a month.”  
  
Akaashi laughed in his head; trust Tsukishima to pick up on the subtle little differences. “I’ve… had a lot on my mind… And it’s something that we all need to talk about. Can we… Can we sit and have a coffee and talk?”  
  
Tsukishima’s eyebrow raised slightly, curving delicately over the rim of his glasses. Akaashi could see the tiny hint of panic in his eyes, and then Tsukishima turned to head back into the kitchen. “Two coffees coming right up.”  
  
Akaashi stood on shaky legs and moved to hover in the doorway, watching Tsukishima potter around. Smiling sadly, he remembered the first time he had met Tsukishima, a young man play volleyball who definitely didn’t want anything to do with the annoying Bokuto and the some-what-less annoying Kuroo. He remembered how Tsukishima played volleyball with them, often ignoring his own team members that would come to get him to go rest, or eat, or even just take a break; how Tsukishima would often ask for his advice.

* * *

 

“ _Kei, you need to start listening to your team members.” Akaashi was sat on the bleachers, sipping from his water bottle. Tsukishima looked away. “I mean it, Kei; training with Bokuto, Kuroo and I is all good, it’s great – we can all see how much you want to exceed and better yourself, but your team are your team. What they say goes, especially Sawamura.”_

  
_Tsukishima had sighed and looked down at his own water bottle, scratching gently at the insignia on it. “I feel like I belong here. It’s not all about two damn people. I can focus on myself, work on myself without everything being taken back to Kageyama and Hinata. I get that they’re good and they’re a major asset to the team but… they take up everything. We get into a training rhythm and then nope back to doing this, or doing that, doing something that allows them to work on that godforsaken quick.” Tsukishima sighed and took a sip of water. “It’s nice to be with people that understand, that… that want to help me better myself as well as their teams.”_  
  
_Akaashi had rubbed his back, smiling softly. “I know it’s hard. We used to have a few people like that when I was a first year but… it gets easier. You have to adjust – after all, that’s a life lesson. Life throws things at you and you have to adjust to them. You can’t avoid it forever. One day or another, you have to look towards it and say ‘hit me with your best shot- BOKUTO!”_  
  
_A volleyball had slammed off of Akaashi’s hand, sending his water bottle to the ground and Akaashi flying backwards. There had been silence, and then Tsukishima had started chuckling, barely able to cover his mouth in time. Kuroo followed in suite, bending over as he laughed loudly, his humour echoing around the court. Bokuto was, however, in a state, running to Akaashi’s side as he tried to help him up, crying and issuing apologies. Akaashi was laughing as well, waving it off and rubbing his hand. “It was an accident, it was an accident.”_  
  
_Tsukishima had watched him afterwards, when Bokuto ran back to the court to continue rallying with Kuroo and Akaashi had met his gaze. “I think… I think you’re right, Keiji.”_  
  
_The next day, Akaashi had seen Tsukishima following his advice, listening intently to his team when they came to see him in the third gym… and Akaashi smiled one of his rare, true smiles._

* * *

 

Tsukishima returned to the dining room and placed two cups of coffee on the table, sitting opposite Akaashi.

  
“Do you need my advice with something?”

  
Akaashi smiled softly, and tilted his head, leaning it on the palm of his hand. “No, no. I… I don’t need advice. I need to… need to tell you something, Kei.”  
  
Kei swallowed a little and sipped his coffee. Akaashi watched his fingers twitch against the porcelain. Akaashi went to speak again and found his mouth to be dry. He took a breath and a long gulp of his coffee.  
  
“I don’t… I don’t know how to say this… so first of all I guess just… don’t tell Tetsu or Kou… I have to tell them this myself, but I need to psych myself up to.”  
  
Tsukishima nodded, staring at Akaashi. “You’re scaring me.”  
  
Akaashi laughed a little, pained, and stared at his coffee. “Kei… Tsukki…” Akaashi ran a hand through his hair. “I have four months left to live.”  
  
Tsukishima stared at him, unblinking. After what felt like an age, he lifted his coffee cup to his lips. Akaashi wished he would say something. _Anything.  
  
_ Eventually, Tsukishima held his free hand out, waiting expectantly. Akaashi slowly rolled the sleeve of his right arm up and placed it gently in Tsukishima’s hand. The blond stared down at his wrist.  
  
Porcelain smashed to the table top. Coffee splashed everywhere, and Akaashi’s head shot up. Tsukishima was staring at him, barely blinking, not even seeming to care that the coffee was pouring into his lap. He slowly stood and Akaashi’s eyes followed him as he walked into the kitchen. The singer leant back in his chair, slumping, and then he heard Tsukishima being ill.  
  
Akaashi ran into the kitchen to support him, wrapping an arm around the front of his waist, the other hand rubbing up and down his back. “Get it all out, Kei… get it all out baby.”  
  
He kept going, retching and coughing as he clung to the sink, barely able to breathe. Akaashi watched the tears stream down his face, and his own tears started falling.  
  
“What happened?! What _happened_?! It’s not meant to be you that goes first it’s not meant to be-” Tsukishima broke off, retching again, and Akaashi leant his forehead on the blond’s shoulder. “I don’t know… I don’t know what happened. I wish I knew.”  
  
Eventually, Tsukishima managed to stand up, only to collapse against the kitchen tiles. Akaashi still had hold of him, supporting him as best he could. “Kei, get up. I need to get you to the bedroom before you faint.”  
  
Tsukishima made a noise in his throat and pushed Akaashi away. The tears got worse, ugly sobs that distorted his face and smudged his glasses.  
  
Akaashi stood there helplessly, wondering if he should called Kuroo to help him calm Tsukishima down, when he stood. The blond took deep breaths as he made shaky steps through the kitchen, out through to the living room. Akaashi followed him quickly, worried that he might collapse on the way. Eventually, Tsukishima managed to navigate himself to the bedroom where he let his knees buckle.  
  
Akaashi watched him fall onto the queen sized bed, and curl up under the blankets, worming his way inside of them. Soon, there was nothing to be seen but a few small tufts of blond hair and Akaashi made his way to sit down next to him.  
  
Silence hung heavy in the room, and Akaashi felt like it had sucked the oxygen away from them. A shaking hand reached out to rest on the bump in the blanket that was Tsukishima’s hip. The lump that was Tsukishima flinched violently and Akaashi would have jumped, if he hadn’t sat with Tsukishima through countless episodes of this before.  
  
“Kei… Remember when I first went to your house?”  
  
There was a noise from under the blanket, and Akaashi smiled weakly.

* * *

 

 _He had been invited over when Fukuroudani had come for a weekend training session at Karasuno. The Tsukishimas had been excited to meet “Kei’s Akaashi” and his brother had even come all the way from the city to stay for the weekend. Akaashi found himself in an awkward feeling the moment he walked through the door._  
  
_Kei had already gone ahead of him, kicking his shoes off by the door and heading into the kitchen. A blond boy, smaller than Tsukishima, but with the air of age and wisdom around him, caught him slipping Tsukishima’s shoes into one of the designated shoe racks. Akaashi had blushed and stood up sharply, only to bow._  
  
_“Tsukishima-san-”_  
  
_“Oh call me Akiteru, please. I feel like I know you already; you’ve made Kei so happy, he talks about you so much.” The boy – man – Akiteru – stopped and glanced at the kitchen. “It’s nice to see him out of his shell.” Akiteru smiled at Akaashi and then had disappeared into the kitchen._  
  
_Akaashi followed, nibbling his lip as he watched Akiteru and Tsukishima by the sink. Tsukishima was washing a cup up, and Akiteru was splashing water at him, laughing at Tsukishima’s soft cursing. “Wash your mouth out, young man!”_  
  
_Tsukishima looked his brother dead in the eye, and recited a mouthful that Akaashi didn’t think he’d ever heard in his life. His eyes must have been wide because when Tsukishima glanced at him, he burst into laughter. “Relax, Keiji; this is how my brother and I joke around.”_  
  
_Akaashi had nodded, shy, and moved to gently kneel at the table. Tsukishima had chuckled. “I’m just making us drinks and then we can head upstairs. Take your stuff up there too, keep it out the doorway-”_  
  
_“-oh my gosh, you know how to not block the hallway and door with your junk?”_  
  
_Akiteru got another handful of water splashed at his face and both brothers burst into laughter. Akaashi couldn’t help the smile on his face as he watched them. Tsukishima bent down to peer in the fridge, complaining something along the lines of Akiteru eating them out of house and home when he had only been back for a day. Akiteru replied with some sass._  
  
_Akaashi toned them out, their words becoming white noise. He wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like if he had a brother or a sister. Would life at home have been different for him? He probably wouldn’t have gotten all the attention he had needed from his Mother to thrive. Maybe his Father wouldn’t have left when he was barely seven years old, with barely any memories of him. Maybe he wouldn’t be on the volleyball team – maybe he’d have a better life. Maybe it would be worse. He maybe never would have met Bokuto; his closest friend and probably the only friend that Akaashi had said openly he could trust._  
  
_“...Keiji.”_  
  
_Akaashi’s head had shot up, eyes wide. “Sorry I wasn’t… wasn’t listening.” He expected Tsukishima to roll his eyes, maybe to sigh, but he was met with a small, gentle smile. In his peripheral vision, he saw Akiteru stare at his brother, eyes wide. He wondered how often it was Tsukishima smiled at home. Apparently, not often._  
  
_“It’s fine. I said come on, upstairs.” Akaashi noticed there were two glasses of orange juice in the blond’s hands, and Akaashi managed a small smile in reciprocation. He got up, grabbed his bag that he had brought with him into the kitchen, and followed Tsukishima upstairs. They headed straight into Tsukishima’s room and Akaashi put his bag away neatly in the corner._  
  
_Almost as soon as the door was shut, Tsukishima’s hands closed around Akaashi’s hips, pulling him in tightly to press a kiss to his lips. Akaashi had been shocked for a moment, but then his hands had wrapped around Tsukishima’s neck, holding him close as he reciprocated, smiling against his lips. They held it for a moment, and then they stumbled backwards to the bed._

* * *

 

Akaashi jolted out of his memories as Tsukishima moved, and he looked to find some golden-brown eyes peering at him over the covers. Akaashi smiled and moved to lay next to Tsukishima, a hand wrapping around the rough area of his waist. “What were you thinking about?”

  
“Like I said, the first time I came to your house.”  
  
Tsukishima made a noise and Akaashi leant in to bury his face under the blankets to press a kiss to the back of the blond’s neck. “I love you, Kei.”  
  
Akaashi didn’t need to see Tsukishima’s face to know that his eyes had just fluttered close, to know there was a tiny, delicate smile on his lips.  
  
“I love you, too, Kej… I don’t want to lose you. We’ve already had all this… drama, for lack of better wording, with… with Koutarou and I’m… I’m scared, Akaashi. I love you so much. I love you so much and the thought of losing you feels like… feels like the whole world is going to come down and crash around me. I don’t want you to go away… You’re meant to outlive us all.” Tsukishima’s voice broke. “You’re meant to be the one to hold us all together, to calm us all down and be there when we need a voice of reason. You’re meant to be the person to keep us all grounded, to remind us that we’re loved and that we all care for each other and-”  
  
Akaashi’s heart broke as Tsukishima’s tears began to fall. His voice couldn’t suppress the sob that had bubbled out on his words, and Akaashi immediately held him tightly against his own body.  
  
“Listen to me, Kei; just listen to my voice and my words.”  
  
There was a soft sob, a shake and then Tsukishima nodded weakly.  
  
“I’m not really going anywhere. Yes, I’m going to die soon, that can’t be refuted. It’s written in stone. But in reality, you’re all going to carry me on in your hearts. I know you’re all going to be listening to my music for years to come. You’re going to remember me with a smile on your faces. This is going to be hard on all of you, I won’t argue that; I know that you can all get through it, though. You’re all strong men, independent, and I know you don’t need me to do everything you all put your minds to. Kou is going to become a world renowned volleyball player, Tetsu is going to become a sports therapist to the top athletes in the world and _you_ are going to be the world’s greatest palaeontologist, and are going to discover some of the greatest dinosaurs the world doesn’t know about yet.”  
  
Tsukishima let out a noise that sounded like a cross between a laugh and a sob, and Akaashi nuzzled the back of his neck. “I guess… I guess you’re right.”  
  
“Besides...” Akaashi paused a little, choosing his words carefully, trying not to upset Tsukishima even more. “Wherever I end up, I’ll always be watching you three. I’ll be making sure that Kou doesn’t screw everything up, that Tetsu doesn’t burn the house down and that you don’t end up killing one of the others.”  
  
It worked. Bubbles of laughter escaped Tsukishima’s mouth before he covered it with a hand, blushing.  
  
“Kej… Kej fuck.”  
  
Tsukishima rolled over to stare at Akaashi. Immediately, the singer lost himself in those golden-brown eyes, although they were dampened from their usual brightness with grief. They stayed that way a moment before Tsukishima closed his eyes. “I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. Fuck, I love you more than I love...” Tsukishima broke off.  
  
Akaashi didn’t need him to finish to know he had been about to say Kuroo and Bokuto. They had their relationship, they had been the original couple, Kuroo and Bokuto had been ‘add ons’, as Bokuto had called them. Akaashi still didn’t know why Bokuto had to refer most things back to video games. Bokuto and Kuroo had their little set couple, Akaashi and Tsukishima had theirs and they didn’t care. No one cared, it was how they worked, how everything had just clicked into place for them.  
  
“I love you too, Kei, more than anything I know. I love you more than singing… and it’s going to be okay. Because we’re all going to end up where we’re meant to.”  
  
Tsukishima smiled weakly. “You’re going to haunt us, let’s be real here.”  
  
Akaashi laughed softly. “Kou didn’t do the wash up? Bam, walls are bleeding, get to it, keep this penthouse tidy.”  
  
Tsukishima burst into laughter again, and Akaashi used the moment to wipe away Tsukishima’s tears. “I’ll be watching over you all, never doubt that. I’ll still be around to bring colour into your lives. I’ll make sure Kou does his assignments, that Kuroo doesn’t work himself too hard and that _you_ eat because I know what you’re like when you get upset.”  
  
Tsukishima sighed and his eyes moved to stare over Tsukishima’s head, focusing on something across the room. Akaashi cupped his cheek.  
  
“We’re keeping you safe. We don’t need your clock changing again.”  
  
Tsukishima closed his eyes. Akaashi frowned softly, holding him close.  
  
Tsukishima’s Father had died three years ago when Tsukishima had already been living in America with his boyfriends for a year. He got the news via a Skype call just before dinner and hadn’t been able to eat. The others had watched for weeks, months as Tsukishima just couldn’t bring himself to eat, getting skinnier and skinnier all the while. One night, Akaashi had heard Tsukishima scream in pain, and had been the first of the three to be on his feet, running through to the bedroom. Tsukishima was keeled over, gripping his wrist and Akaashi had grabbed it before Tsukishima could think to hide it.  
  
The black numbers spelt out a horrendous feeling for all of them – Tsukishima had only three weeks to live. Panic had ensued as they immediately took Tsukishima to the best hospital they could find. He stayed there, and the therapists helped him through the depression he had come to live in. He had found his way to start eating again, and after two weeks, the trio at home had gotten the call.  
  
_I managed to get everything back under control… my watch changed… it’s back to 57 years_.  
  
Now, the other three kept on top of everything. They ensured that Tsukishima took his antidepressants every morning – with his coffee, that way he would remember every day – and they always ensured there was food to snack on in the fridge, or food that could be heated up in the freezer or fridge if no one was home and Tsukishima felt like he couldn’t cook.  
  
“You’re gonna stay strong with this, Kei. I know you are. Kou and Tetsu will help you.”  
  
Tsukishima nodded a little, and then shuffled closer to Akaashi, closing his eyes properly. Akaashi stood to strip down to his boxers, gladly shifting into the bed. He wondered briefly if he shoulder cover his wrist, keep his watch hidden, but he didn’t bother. Instead, he let Tsukishima cling to him, exhausted. After a few minutes, both men were gone from the world, sleeping deeply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo if anyone feels like they need a bit of a laugh, I started doing crack videos on YouTube over at [Saltyshima](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCNXtB8vJiOA7hWTWaJVfJww).


End file.
